her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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