ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
