she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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