my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
