Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
