remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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