brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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