the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
