she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
