In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize