I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
