i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
