Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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