they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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