honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
