I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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