So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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