It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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