you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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