I think I am morally bankrupt
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
