He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
