I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
