why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
