My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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