Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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