I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
