just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
