Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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