She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
