Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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