Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
