She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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