no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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