I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
