Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
smell my finger.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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