He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize