google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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