this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
