Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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