Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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