If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
