Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Never joke about your clitoris.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize