Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
