Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
