Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
