is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
