so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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