Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
