Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How naked do you want me to be?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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