But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
