but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
