Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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