But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
