Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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