my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just sucked dick on a ferry
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
