He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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